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Sorry i havent been on, life has been hitting me in so many ways. School presure is on, and im having problems again in math. But my troubles were trippled last week when i found out i cant get any more loans, due to that stupid Tec school some years ago. So now im trying to get work study, or scolarships and just find my way. I have never been challenged and exposed to a life that has me thinking and changing so much. I have never woked so hard for something in my life. I deserve to be in collage. There has been so many benifits already, and im just getting started. So friends, life has been hard. I at times feel stuck in a life of no vacations, or sick days, no 401k or..... you get the point. Please keep me in your prayers, that i find a way to stay in collage. Havent taken English copm yet.. so if anyone can help me apply for free cash for school. please let me know...

The presure is on.... Dont get me wrong, school is the best thing i could have ever done. BUT boy is the presure on. Its hard to form habbits of study, and always feeling one step behind. I have learded that when i think im not going to do well, I just dont have faith in myself. Our mind plays with us, or mine does.... Like taking a test... my mind goes blank, and the nerves sit in and i just cant think. The doctor called and i have a meeting with him to discuss if i have a learning disablity. Last night doing my math homework, i noticed that im having a problem rewriting the problem correctly. I spent hours on the work, and so frustrated. I knew how to do the math, just could not write 3(-9)+12= and so on. As if im seeing it backwards. I am excited to get the results, but scared im fine just a very low IQ. Now that would break my heart. On the other hand, I passed my Psychology test!!!!! Let me tell you, learning about the brain and how it works..... words ive never seen, things i have never heard....til i started to idenfiy with t.v shows that talked about what i was learning. That is where the excitment comes in. Feeding my brain!!!

I think more now, and do more math in my head, and can relate with more people. Pray for me to recieve the imformation, and progress..  jbell

I find it interesting that when i have a chance to rambel about myself, The truth comes out.. What i maen by this is this morning i was discribing my life  a little to someone on this site, and as i reread what i had said, i had talked about failing my kids. WOW, its not something i think about. But its my biggest fear. We all know that the more we have to offer our chilren the more of a chance they have as productive adults. I was a child that was never interduced to anything, no sports, or extra activities. So i grew up with no intrest, or goals. I never had someone push me to be grat at anything. So yes, i fear my children growing up and being like me, as i know im a great parent, and i put them first, but cant offer a wide range of experiences to excite them and get them to thinking about what all is out there in life for them. Last year i had my 2 younger sons in baseball. I dont sugjest doing that with 2 at the same time. Loved that they were on a team and learned how it is to be apart of that, but the cost was over the top. and it really took the gas out my car, and food off the table. I now recently put my 10 year old in boxing. He has a hard time dealing with his feeling, and has a learning disablity. He really needed an outlet. Seems not fair to other kids, but as parents we have to deciede what is best, and within our means. Im not sure how long i can pay, but i hope to have himthere for a long time. My point is i fear not doing well in school, keeping the lights on.. Thats why its good to listen to people. we discover our issues/fears

hearts that touch so many. As a parentless child, i fear them losing me. I know first hand what happens when parents make bad chioces, and what becomes of the child left behind. Creating a better life is my goal, i will do this taking baby steps, collage full time starts in days, and there is where i will pull them out from our life that sinks slow. While doing this, i will disquize our life, and shield them from the struggle. Put on my poker face, and pretend to know the answers. As i wrote this, i hope other see me fight for our life, you dont know details, we should not have to hear in words, the pain of the roads we travel, why dread on that, we have come so far,  and have been so blessed. Often i feel like the little girl, scared, and unknown what to do, but i keep moving and looking for the answers. 

I wrote this at the begining of collage. Im still here, and looking over this wanted to share with you. Things are still very hard, and at times feel its to hard, but i still have my home by a threed mostly, but with great pride....... jess

Yesterday in my Speach class, i had to give my first speach!! Second person to speak for the first time in class, never did i know the feeling of a ton of bricks on my chest. Mind you i want to be a motivational speaker, i have some powerful words in me. BUT...LOL i was scared.. spent 4-5 hours on my notes ands message. asignment was What makes me me? It was hard, i didnt want to share to much in class, but i can only be me. So i was the only one to go way over my 5 min. and i didnt use my notes at all. I did so well, and i got my message through that we need to lift eachother up, and never judge a book by its cover.

Meeting great people, and learning so much. Excited to expand my world!!!!! 

just to let you know all my classes and teachers are great. I love school, its like a lot of lights being turned on my head!!! Im excited, and eager. Its the best thing i could could do for me and my kids. Its not easy, but there is a way everyday!!!!! Keep your heads up, and keep me in your prrayers.

I'm a divorced father of three who needs money to buy a reliable used car, so I can see my child more often, go to school, and qualify for full time employment. I've seen many job descriptions that list reliable transportation as a requirement. I've called Goodwill workers on wheels, but havent been called back.

How do i servive? well lol... i am a full time student, i get all the loans i can, and i go through a program that pays for my school/ books/ and chiildcare, i hit up all the foodbanks i can, and once a yea i get my county to pay my rent. Now i always worked, and lived check to check. So now im living on a little less, much manage to pay my rent and bills. But im blessed to have a land lord wait at times for back rent. But being a good person, and being honest will get you a long way with the right people. I pick up odd jobs, no matter how hard they are, and i have gotten real good at always paying my bills before any thing else. We all have the means, but there is some help out there. I had to start completley over. Im proud of my old trailer, with alot of room and cheap rent. Im very proud that i have kept my car, a home for my children, and a safe home to be a family.

How do i servive? well lol... i am a full time student, i get all the loans i can, and i go through a program that pays for my school/ books/ and chiildcare, i hit up all the foodbanks i can, and once a yea i get my county to pay my rent. Now i always worked, and lived check to check. So now im living on a little less, much manage to pay my rent and bills. But im blessed to have a land lord wait at times for back rent. But being a good person, and being honest will get you a long way with the right people. I pick up odd jobs, no matter how hard they are, and i have gotten real good at always paying my bills before any thing else. We all have the means, but there is some help out there. I had to start completley over. Im proud of my old trailer, with alot of room and cheap rent. Im very proud that i have kept my car, a home for my children, and a safe home to be a family.

Hello friends, well its a new year, and i have been busy. School starts back up in a week or so... and i have had some clallenges. School is alot harder than i thought, and im scared of this 2nd go around, but im getting tested to see if maybe its harder for me because im challenged some. Now dont get me wrong, im smart as a whip...... i just learn different. I was blessed to get a doctor to do a valuation for me, so that i can the help from the school i need.

What i have learned in this process is that are people are out there to help those that help there self. Things are hard, its hard being a single mom, and going to school full time. WOW it sound impossable, but for now im doing it. The kids will understand later if not now. I have some other stuff i want to share, just dont want to get so deep in thought while the kids are up. I do enjoy sharing here, it give me some release. I pray for your good health, and great things coming in our direction. God bless, jess

Im not one to be O poor me... I think its important to be honest about what is going on inside me. I have alot of regrets, and dont want to keep making regrets. I want my family to see me hapy, and be happy children. I hate that my ten yr old says he wants to be like the families on T.V. How do i say thats not real, when it is in some cases. How do i explain to them that our life is different. They deserve to be thought about and loved by more than just me. # boys, i woonder how this will effect there life. Will i be able to send them on there way in life with all they need to be there best ?  Or will they grow up with issues passed down on them as i was.

Please pray for me and my family!!!! I have shared with you things that i have not told anyone. There is really no one to talk to.   P.S  I was very proud, and felt weak and strong at the same time as i spread my moms ashes. It was a very grown up thing to do, and im glad i stepped up and did it. I know she is not suffering, and i pray God allows her to look down on me!!!!

Im 33, i have 3 boys, and i dropped out in 9th grade. I decieded togo to collage last spring, and if i tell you i was crushed moths days. I would leave out of algerbra in tears. Feeling lost and scared that i couldnt do it. I just wasnt getting it. I worked so hard, i went to tudors, and had classmates taking the time to help me. Barley passing the tests, having to copy others homework, just so i could understand the problems. I still do think i have a learning disablity, but I earned my first 3 credits, on the hardest class i had. Lets not forget i started as a full time student. Its these days that i wait for, while i am down and on the verge to 100% dout myself i made it. I passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please help

2 years ago my husbands first wife died she was 29 he was 21.  we are both 23 and are recently married.  she had no life insurance and we are still paying on that debt.  2 weeks ago his father died he also had no insurance of any kind.  we had to go from NE to Ohio and it took everything we had to do so.  now we have no money to pay rent or buy food and we need help.  we are both full time students.  he has been looking for a job but he is so sad that most days he cant even get out of bed.  we have no money for him to se a therapist or get depression meds.  and im running out of ideas on how to keep going.  i would work but he is prone to hurt himself when im not around so i cant leave him home alone.  i wory so much about him and how we are going to pay rent each month yet alone all the debt we have that it is starting to ware on me. 

Please Help weather advice or guidence anything realy.

Now i have had some hard times in my day, but as the years pass i grew up, and really stepped up how to be a parent, and truly put them first. I lost my job some months ago, and after seeing that i will never get a great job with no Education. I decided to to to collage. Now there are no regrets, but i see us slowly going down hill. I have a great landlord, but still he needs his rent, and the struggle to take care of 3 boys needs and pay the bills, and expect for me to do great in school...... I am overwhelmed... I dont have the answers... As you know you meet alot of new people in school, and long story short.. i was a stripper for A day.. 12 long hours, desperate to find a way to pay the bills, and the stress of Christmas... Well all i have to say is that will never happen again.... Im scared for all i seen that night, and sad that i thought that was my way to keeping my kids happy and safe. Last week i picked gas over feeding my dog. Things change so fast. No where to turn. It all falls on me. I know life is hard. But my kids deserve to have more... The story is to much to talk about, i do all i can, and in the past year things have really gone down hill........

I have been seperated and then divorced since 2006.Because I had always stayed home with my kids for the most part I usually only worked part-time jobs.I was very much not financially prepared for a divorce.My ex-husband let my car go back because he decided that he was'nt going to pay for it .He said that I didnt need a car , though I had all of our children.Because of the financial situation I had to move from S. Florida ,where its very expensive, to N. Florida where I could afford the rent at least.Now I have another car and its 14 years old.By going onto web sites I believe the problem is the headgaskets, but Im far from being a mechanic so I cant be sure.Im going to school full time and I have 3 of my 4 children living with as well as 2 other kids whos parents threw them away.There is no public transportation here so we are usually stuck with no way to look for jobs or get to school.I support us all on less than 20,000 a year and it took a long time of saving just to get the money to put down on the car.I just need my car fixed.I can pay someone $10 a week if thats what they want.I just dont know what else to do anymore.Please can someone help?

I am a single mom of one 7 year old girl.  I am going to school full time and on wel fair.  I am supporting myself and my daughter on $555.00 a month. I dont know how I do it and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to last. I have a felony on my record because of stupid choices when I was younger so trying to find work is almost inposible.  I am hopeing the time I am investing in to school pays off or I'll be brook FOREVER and out a good amount of time. I just thank God the school I am in is free.  I wish I could find the resources to get threw the tough times. 

Hello,

My name is Nicci and I am a college student at Fresno State. I am struggling finanically with my bills which include my rent and college tuition. If anyone can spare me some money I would be very, very thankful. I am attending school full time and working part time but it doesn't pay all the bills. I have a paypal account where money can be sent to me by entering my email address mizznicci@yahoo.com. Please help if you can, it would really help me out. Thank you for your time. -Nicci

It has been hard for me as well. I recently went back to school and I am a full time mother. Managing back to school, a family, and working can be hard on the mind and body itself not to minching the stress. Currently I am not working and collecting unemployment. The unemployment barely pays for my bills not to minchen my book money for school.